For some, it’s a natural response to having something inside if you, but you need to fight the urge. He also suggests “pushing out the pelvic floor during the initial insertion.” Whatever you do, do not clench. Using yoga-style meditative breathing can assist in pelvic floor relaxation, explains Goldstein. (Note: Any toy that goes up your butt needs to have a flared base-you don't want it getting stuck up there!) If you stretch beyond your capacity, you can cause damage to the region-most commonly in the form of anal fissures or hemorrhoids. You also want to start by inserting smaller things-like fingers or small butt plugs-before taking a full-on penis or dildo. To have a pleasurable (and safe) time bottoming, you need to relax the voluntary muscles in your butt in order to accept whatever you’re inserting into it, explains Goldstein. Relaxation is key to enjoying the bottoming experience. “Once you tap into its benefits with appropriate stimulation, your orgasms will never be the same again,” says Goldstein. Roughly 2-3 inches inside the anus resides the prostate, a walnut-sized gland that’s a beacon of pleasure. Two, it feels really good for the bottom. Well, for one, cisgender gay men don’t have vulvas, so if they want to have penetrative sex, it’s really their only option.
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We also spoke to legendary gay porn stars Boomer Banks and Ty Mitchell for tips on how to bottom. Evan Goldstein, founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, an anal surgery practice, for medical information and advice. Alas, there are not that many resources for men who want to learn how to bottom, but have no idea where to begin. Bottoming isn't an innate skill it’s something you learn. I had no idea how to bottom, which makes sense. My orgasms were so much stronger with something in my butt than without.
After a few experimental sessions, I finally got what bottoming was all about. She loved anal (on herself, too) and taught me what I had been doing wrong. She really wanted to peg me, so I told her I’d give bottoming another try. Eventually, I had a girlfriend who got me into it. How do so many men-gay, bi, and straight-derive pleasure from having a penis (or dildo) inside of them? After my first unpleasant experience, I didn’t bottom for quite some time. (The person sticking said penis or dildo inside the bottom is referred to as the "top.")Īfter my negative sexual experience, I couldn’t for the life of me understand what was pleasurable about bottoming. If you're not familiar with the term, "bottoming" refers to being on the receiving end of anal sex, meaning the "bottom" is the partner putting the penis (or dildo) inside of them. I was in pain the entire time, not to mention super self-conscious about my partner being all up in my rear end. My first time bottoming was a nightmare come to life.